DATE     "TODAY'S QUOTE" ARCHIVE   Receive daily quotes from Quotes of the Day.
Current Scroll Board Text: CLICK HERE.
 
12/31/09   To die is nothing; but it is terrible not to live. -- Victor Hugo.
12/30/09   I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. -- Steve Martin.
12/29/09   Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. -- Woody Allen.
12/28/09   I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant. -- Ring Lardner.
12/27/09   What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
12/26/09   A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. -- Rodney Dangerfield.
12/25/09   At Christmas, all roads lead home. -- Marjorie Holmes.
12/24/09   In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is. -- Chuck Reid.
12/23/09   If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it! -- Jonathan Winters.
12/22/09   Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer. -- Muhammad Ali.
12/21/09   With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. -- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg.
12/20/09   The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. -- Thomas H. Huxley.
12/19/09   I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. -- George Best.
12/18/09   A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. -- Fats Domino.
12/17/09   A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell. -- George Bernard Shaw.
12/16/09   Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult. -- Samuel Johnson.
12/15/09   I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein.
12/14/09   Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four. -- Katharine Hepburn.
12/13/09   Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy. -- Spike Milligan.
12/12/09   There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. -- Mary Wilson Little.
12/11/09   Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. -- Redd Foxx.
12/10/09   Health food makes me sick. -- Calvin Trillin.
12/09/09   The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. -- Horace Walpole.
12/08/09   I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. -- Steven Wright.
12/07/09   My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. -- Jean Rostand.
12/06/09   You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. -- Jack London.
12/05/09   Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. -- Mae West.
12/04/09   The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth. -- Charles Luckman.
12/03/09   There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness. -- Franz Kafka.
12/02/09   Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it. -- Alvin Toffler.
12/01/09   Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. -- W. H. Auden.
11/30/09   Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others. -- Edward Abbey.
11/29/09   You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -- Mark Twain.
11/28/09   The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. -- Woody Allen.
11/27/09   College isn't the place to go for ideas. -- Helen Keller.
11/26/09   How hard it is, sometimes, to trust the evidence of one's senses! How reluctantly the mind consents to reality. -- Norman Douglas.
11/25/09   A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. -- Jane Austen.
11/24/09   The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism. -- Sir William Osler.
11/23/09   A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. -- Mark Twain.
11/22/09   There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators. -- Will Rogers.
11/21/09   It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. -- H. L. Mencken.
11/20/09   The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. -- Elizabeth Taylor.
11/19/09   Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk. -- Henry David Thoreau.
11/18/09   A man's silence is wonderful to listen to. -- Thomas Hardy.
11/17/09   If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? -- Laurence J. Peter.
11/16/09   Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. -- W. C. Fields.
11/15/09   Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out. -- Samuel Johnson.
11/14/09   The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. -- Ronald Reagan.
11/13/09   People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have. -- Anne Tyler.
11/12/09   All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. -- Aristotle.
11/11/09   Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. -- Woody Allen.
11/10/09   When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. -- Oscar Wilde.
11/09/09   What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower.
11/08/09   All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse. -- Benjamin Franklin.
11/07/09   The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. -- Paul Fix.
11/06/09   You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. -- Sam Levenson.
11/05/09   Laughter is inner jogging. -- Norman Cousins.
11/04/09   My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. -- Orson Welles.
11/03/09   It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy. -- James Thurber.
11/02/09   The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all. -- Jawaharlal Nehru.
11/01/09   When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift.
10/31/09   I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution. -- Wernher von Braun.
10/30/09   The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. -- Mark Twain.
10/29/09   You cannot slander human nature; it is worse than words can paint it. -- Charles Haddon Spurgeon.
10/28/09   It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that. -- G. H. Hardy.
10/27/09   Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -- Oscar Wilde.
10/26/09   Silence is the virtue of fools. -- Sir Francis Bacon.
10/25/09   When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke.
10/24/09   Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. -- Dale Carnegie.
10/23/09   Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. -- Gore Vidal.
10/22/09   The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. -- David M. Ogilvy.
10/21/09   The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
10/20/09   The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it. -- Daniel Webster.
10/19/09   When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' -- Theodore Roosevelt.
10/18/09   No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why. -- Mignon McLaughlin.
10/17/09   One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork. -- Edward Abbey.
10/16/09   Tao. Some of us look for the Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither. -- W. Somerset Maugham.
10/15/09   Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. -- Bill Watterson.
10/14/09   Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. -- Mark Twain.
10/13/09   Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. -- Evan Esar.
10/12/09   What we hope ever to do with ease we may learn first to do with diligence. -- Samuel Johnson.
10/11/09   That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent. -- Aldous Huxley.
10/10/09   I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. -- Mahatma Gandhi.
10/09/09   We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. -- Nick Faldo.
10/08/09   One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards. -- Oscar Wilde.
10/07/09   If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. -- Lewis Carroll.
10/06/09   Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. -- Sam Levenson.
10/05/09   An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. -- Charles F. Kettering.
10/04/09   There comes a time in every man's life and I've had many of them. -- Casey Stengel.
10/03/09   An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. -- Simon Cameron.
10/02/09   In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald.
10/01/09   An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens. -- Robert Benchley.
09/30/09   If people only knew how hard I work to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all. -- Michelangelo Buonarroti.
09/29/09   You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave. -- Sydney Smith.
09/28/09   The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. -- Russell Baker.
09/27/09   Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -- James Bryant Conant.
09/26/09   Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. -- A. H. Weiler.
09/25/09   The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. -- Flannery O'Connor.
09/24/09   Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen. -- John le Carre.
09/23/09   Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. -- Mark Twain.
09/22/09   Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -- George Burns.
09/21/09   You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. -- Max Beerbohm.
09/20/09   There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience. -- Anatole Broyard.
09/19/09   In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. -- Andy Warhol.
09/18/09   If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. -- Doug Larson.
09/17/09   At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. -- Jean Houston.
09/16/09   Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut. -- Robert Newton Peck.
09/15/09   Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much. -- Peter Ustinov.
09/14/09   You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. -- Dave Barry.
09/13/09   When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber. -- Sir Winston Churchill.
09/12/09   No human thing is of serious importance. -- Plato.
09/11/09   From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. -- Groucho Marx.
09/10/09   Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read. -- Frank Zappa.
09/09/09   If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. -- Bill Lyon.
09/08/09   I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -- Bill Cosby.
09/07/09   Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity. -- Albert Camus.
09/06/09   Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. -- Norm Papernick.
09/05/09   All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. -- George Orwell.
09/04/09   History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. -- Abba Eban.
09/03/09   The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. -- H. P. Lovecraft.
09/02/09   The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion. -- G. K. Chesterton.
09/01/09   Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. -- Mark Twain.
08/31/09   If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. -- Isaac Newton.
08/30/09   Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care. -- William Safire.
08/29/09   By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates.
08/28/09   If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. -- Anatole France.
08/27/09   Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? -- James Thurber.
08/26/09   I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. -- Rodney Dangerfield.
08/25/09   We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society. -- Judith Martin.
08/24/09   I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. -- Wilson Mizner.
08/23/09   The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin. -- Heinrich Heine.
08/22/09   When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. -- George Bernard Shaw.
08/21/09   I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. -- Emo Phillips.
08/20/09   Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies. -- Edgar Watson Howe.
08/19/09   I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. -- Steven Wright.
08/18/09   The smaller the mind the greater the conceit. -- Aesop.
08/17/09   An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it. -- Jef Mallett.
08/16/09   Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. -- Sir Ralph Richardson.
08/15/09   Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. -- Peter Drucker.
08/14/09   No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit. -- Sir Frederick G. Banting.
08/13/09   Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. -- Isaac Asimov.
08/12/09   The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. -- Mark Russell.
08/11/09   Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. -- Henry David Thoreau.
08/10/09   A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. -- H. L. Mencken.
08/09/09   Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance. -- William Shakespeare.
08/08/09   Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. -- Henry Ford.
08/07/09   The ancestor of every action is a thought. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
08/06/09   Everything you can imagine is real. -- Pablo Picasso.
08/05/09   No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately. -- Michel de Montaigne.
08/04/09   In heaven all the interesting people are missing. -- Friedrich Nietzsche.
08/03/09   The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79. -- Douglas Adams.
08/02/09   Music is essentially useless, as life is. -- George Santayana.
08/01/09   Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be. -- Anton Chekhov.
07/31/09   Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half. -- John Wanamaker.
07/30/09   Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. -- Robert Byrne.
07/29/09   Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune. -- Dr. Thomas Fuller.
07/28/09   My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes. -- Ronald Reagan.
07/27/09   It was beautiful and simple, as truly great swindles are. -- O. Henry.
07/26/09   Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. -- George F. Will.
07/25/09   Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret. -- Laurence J. Peter.
07/24/09   When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. -- Thomas Szasz.
07/23/09   What's another word for Thesaurus? -- Steven Wright.
07/22/09   Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. -- Will Rogers.
07/21/09   I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow. -- Woodrow Wilson.
07/20/09   When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. -- Bernard Bailey.
07/19/09   Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. -- Sam Brown.
07/18/09   Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible. -- Frank Moore Colby.
07/17/09   Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. -- Will Rogers.
07/16/09   I had thought that at the time Roe was decided, there was concern about population growth and particularly growth in populations that we don’t want to have too many of. -- Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
07/15/09   Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world. -- Peter York.
07/14/09   It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. -- George Burns.
07/13/09   The higher the buildings, the lower the morals. -- Noel Coward.
07/12/09   The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy. -- Alfred North Whitehead.
07/11/09   Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box. -- Italian Proverb.
07/10/09   We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. -- Cullen Hightower.
07/09/09   I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so. -- Stephen Leacock.
07/08/09   If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. -- Joe Martin.
07/07/09   Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller.
07/06/09   The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it always to be kept alive. -- Thomas Jefferson.
07/05/09   Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. -- Mark Twain.
07/04/09   We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. -- Thomas Jefferson.
07/03/09   In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
07/02/09   We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
07/01/09   A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. -- Oscar Wilde.
06/30/09   I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.' -- Jack Handey.
06/29/09   To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend. -- Jacques Derrida.
06/28/09   If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day. -- John A. Wheeler.
06/27/09   If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. -- J. Paul Getty.
06/26/09   Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur. -- Muriel Spark.
06/25/09   Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad. -- Diogenes the Cynic.
06/24/09   It's wonderful what we can do if we're always doing. -- George Washington.
06/23/09   Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. -- W. C. Fields.
06/22/09   'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.' -- Leslie Nielsen.
06/21/09   I am no more humble than my talents require. -- Oscar Levant.
06/20/09   There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. -- George Carlin.
06/19/09   Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast. -- Epictetus.
06/18/09   I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. -- Fran Lebowitz.
06/17/09   It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry. -- Nikolai Gogol.
06/16/09   I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. -- Thomas Jefferson.
06/15/09   People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. -- David H. Comins.
06/14/09   Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. -- Benjamin Franklin.
06/13/09   There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income. -- Edmund Wilson.
06/12/09   Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. -- Napoleon Bonaparte.
06/11/09   No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. -- Lily Tomlin.
06/10/09   The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. -- Casey Stengel.
06/09/09   I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. -- W. C. Fields.
06/08/09   The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. -- Victor Borge.
06/07/09   I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. -- H. L. Mencken.
06/06/09   I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises. -- Buzz Aldrin.
06/05/09   There are two kinds of people: those who finish what they start and so on. -- Robert Byrne.
06/04/09   You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -- Mark Twain.
06/03/09   It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. -- Voltaire.
06/02/09   The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois. -- Gustave Flaubert.
06/01/09   The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name. -- Aldous Huxley.
05/31/09   I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it. -- Thomas Jefferson.
05/30/09   It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. -- Jerome K. Jerome.
05/29/09   What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. -- George Dennison Prentice.
05/28/09   It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. -- Abraham Lincoln.
05/27/09   After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. -- Cato the Elder.
05/26/09   Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. -- Steven Wright.
05/25/09   Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. -- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg.
05/24/09   Biography lends to death a new terror. -- Oscar Wilde.
05/23/09   It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. -- Douglas Adams.
05/22/09   Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. -- Robert Benchley.
05/21/09   You never know how a horse will pull until you hook him up to a heavy load. -- Paul "Bear" Bryant.
05/20/09   Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. -- Howard Aiken.
05/19/09   There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.' -- Jerry Seinfeld.
05/18/09   The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any. -- Katharine Whitehorn.
05/17/09   A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not. -- Henry Fielding.
05/16/09   I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. -- Groucho Marx.
05/15/09   The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not. -- Eric Hoffer.
05/14/09   The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. -- H. L. Mencken.
05/13/09   Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. -- Jay Leno.
05/12/09   Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. -- Sir Winston Churchill.
05/11/09   Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. -- A. J. Liebling.
05/10/09   A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. -- Robert Heinlein.
05/09/09   Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
05/08/09   Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. -- Frank Dane.
04/28/09   A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. -- P. J. O'Rourke.
04/27/09   Without discipline, there's no life at all. -- Katharine Hepburn.
04/26/09   When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest. -- William Hazlitt.
04/26/09   Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. -- Ronald Reagan.
04/25/09   Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in. -- Leonardo da Vinci.
04/24/09   We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. -- Anais Nin.
04/23/09   I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. -- Mary Chase.
04/22/09   It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.' -- Sam Levenson.
04/21/09   Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. -- A. H. Weiler.
04/20/09   A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt. ...while a liberal is a man who cannot or will not move in any direction without power taxed from others. -- Horace Aeiousey, Jr.
04/19/09   Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes. -- Norman Douglas.
04/18/09   There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. -- Peter Drucker.
04/17/09   The road to hell is paved with adverbs. -- Stephen King.
04/16/09   If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. -- Bill Lyon.
04/15/09   Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. -- Martin Luther King Jr.
04/14/09   A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money. -- Senator Everett Dirksen.
04/13/09   The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. -- Frank Herbert.
04/12/09   Free advice is worth the price. -- Robert Half.
04/11/09   Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. -- Henry David Thoreau.
04/10/09   Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. -- Sir Winston Churchill.
04/09/09   Higher education, applied indiscriminately, has advanced beyond the study of things that merely serve no purpose, to the promotion of things that damage man for the 'good of society'. -- Horace Aeiouey, Jr.
04/08/09   Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. -- Frank Zappa.
04/07/09   Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry. -- Henry Ward Beecher.
04/06/09   Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. -- Satchel Paige.
04/05/09   Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein. -- Joe Theismann.
04/04/09   A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. -- Samuel Goldwyn.
04/03/09   The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting. -- Charles Bukowski.
04/02/09   The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities. -- Sophocles.
04/01/09   There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. -- Alice Thomas Ellis.
03/31/09   If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. -- J. Paul Getty.
03/30/09   The world only goes round by misunderstanding. -- Charles Baudelaire.
03/29/09   I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. -- Thomas Jefferson.
03/28/09   For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed. -- Clifton Fadiman.
03/27/09   In the end, everything is a gag. -- Charlie Chaplin.
03/26/09   The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. -- Mark Twain.
03/25/09   Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born. -- Ronald Reagan.
03/24/09   For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. -- Alice Kahn.
03/23/09   Cynically speaking, one could say that it is true to life to be cynical about it. -- Paul Tillich.
03/22/09   Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. -- Edgar Allan Poe.
03/21/09   Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God. -- Heywood Broun.
03/20/09   Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke -- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
03/19/09   I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. -- Carl Sandburg.
03/18/09   Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. -- Robert Byrne.
03/17/09   Anger is never without Reason, but seldom with a good One. -- Benjamin Franklin.
03/16/09   Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. -- Jean-Paul Sartre.
03/15/09   The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it. -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld.
03/14/09   I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure. -- John D. Rockefeller.
03/13/09   Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. -- Evelyn Waugh.
03/12/09   Laughter is the closest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge.
03/11/09   Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. -- Stephen King.
03/10/09   If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. -- Abraham Maslow.
03/09/09   Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. -- W. C. Fields.
03/08/09   The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth. -- Edith Sitwell.
03/07/09   Genius hath electric power which earth can never tame. -- Lydia M. Child.
03/06/09   Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. -- Mark Twain.
03/05/09   A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. -- Willis Player.
03/04/09   The covers of this book are too far apart. -- Ambrose Bierce.
03/03/09   Go, and never darken my towels again. -- Groucho Marx.
03/02/09   Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. -- Frank Lloyd Wright.
03/01/09   Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. -- Matt Groening.
02/28/09   The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. -- Douglas Adams.
02/27/09   Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one. -- Charles Mackay.
02/26/09   The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. -- Horace Walpole.
02/25/09   Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. -- Pat Paulsen.
02/24/09   In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. -- Fran Lebowitz.
02/23/09   Anonymity is the truest expression of altruism. -- Eric Gibson.
02/22/09   Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder. -- George Washington.
02/21/09   The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. -- Mark Twain.
02/20/09   Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. -- Dr. Joyce Brothers.
02/19/09   There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. -- W. Somerset Maugham.
02/18/09   Exercise relieves stress. Nothing relieves exercise. -- Takayuki Ikkaku.
02/17/09   When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. -- Marquis de la Grange.
02/16/09   When ideas fail, words come in very handy. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
02/15/09   Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. -- Rita Rudner.
02/14/09   Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -- Oscar Wilde.
02/13/09   I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run. -- Babe Ruth.
02/12/09   Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -- Abraham Lincoln.
02/11/09   Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway.
02/10/09   The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half. -- Fyodor Dostoevsky.
02/09/09   An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. -- Niels Bohr.
02/08/09   The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. -- Bertrand Russell.
02/07/09   At least half the mystery novels published violate the law that the solution, once revealed, must seem to be inevitable. -- Raymond Chandler.
02/06/09   Employment is the surest antidote to sorrow. -- Ann Radcliffe.
02/05/09   I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor. -- Roger Moore.
02/04/09   Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be. -- Clementine Paddleford.
02/03/09   I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.' -- Jack Handey.
02/02/09   Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. -- Mark Twain.
02/01/09   Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. -- Tom Robbins.
01/31/09   We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society. -- Judith Martin (Miss Manners).
01/30/09   The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. -- H. L. Mencken.
01/29/09   We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones. -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld.
01/28/09   Where facts are few, experts are many. -- Donald R. Gannon.
01/27/09   I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it. -- Queen Juliana of the Netherlands.
01/26/09   In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams.
01/25/09   I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise. -- Lady Mary Wortley Montagu.
01/24/09   Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. -- E. Joseph Cossman.
01/23/09   A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. -- Bob Edwards.
01/22/09   It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them. -- Friedrich Nietzsche.
01/21/09   It is bad luck to be superstitious. -- Andrew W. Mathis.
01/20/09   I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody. -- Barack Obama.
01/19/09   Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad. -- George Bernard Shaw.
01/18/09   People are, if anything, more touchy about being thought silly than they are about being thought unjust. -- E. B. White.
01/17/09   I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. -- Peter De Vries.
01/16/09   If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech. -- W. Somerset Maugham.
01/15/09   I don't have an English accent because this is what English sounds like when spoken properly. -- James Carr.
01/14/09   I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. -- Fred Allen.
01/13/09   So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work. -- Peter Drucker.
01/12/09   You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. -- Jack London.
01/11/09   Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. -- Rita Rudner.
01/10/09   Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -- H. L. Mencken.
01/09/09   I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. -- John Cleese.
01/08/09   I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. -- Voltaire.
01/07/09   The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. -- John Sladek.
01/06/09   There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience. -- Anatole Broyard.
01/05/09   To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. -- David Viscott.
01/04/09   Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. -- Isaac Newton.
01/03/09   A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. -- Sidney J. Harris.
01/02/09   Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are. -- Laurence J. Peter.
01/01/09   Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution. -- Jay Leno.

10th Anniversary


virtual St. Marys, Ohio
© 2009 www.ridertown.com
Aloha